The Ultimate Email Fearmongering Tale

This is absolutely true this happened to my cousin's apothecary's nephew's step-sister!

I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from  having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. So  anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub  and it was full of ice and he was sore all over. When he got out of the  tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN and he saw a note on  his mirror that said "Call 911!" But he was afraid to use his phone  because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his   computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-mail  entitled "Join the crew!" He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself  was a computer programmer who was working on software to save us from  Armageddon when the year 2000 rolls around. And it's a little-known  fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages. His program will prevent  a global disaster in which all the computers get together and  distribute the $600 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of   Bill Gates. (It's true -- I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from  BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free Disney World  vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I know.)  The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his  missing kidneys, but reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed  with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said,  "Welcome to the world of AIDS." Luckily he was only a few blocks from  the hospital -- the one where that little boy who is dying of cancer is,   the one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an  e-mail and the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel  for every e-mail he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them  was a lunch of x's and o's in the shape of an angel (if you get it and  forward it to 20 people you will have good luck but 10 people you will  only have OK luck and if you send it to less than 10 people you will  have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS). So anyway the poor guy tried to drive   himself to the hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving  along without its lights on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at  him and was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation.